Tag Archives: captain america

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I won't go on too long about how much I ABSOLUTELY LOVED Marvel's the Avengers—enough to see it twice in theatres, and for my husband, three times. Suffice to say Joss Whedon got it all bang on, made me care about characters I knew nothing about (Hawkeye, Black Widow) and even made me like the Hulk. I hate the Hulk. Two separate movies and they still couldn't get the franchise going, yet somehow, I loved him in this.

But I promised not to wax on, so I won't. Instead, I present you The Avengers, in order of bangability:

#1 Thor, God of Thunder, son of Odin.
Skills: Super strength, wields a magic hammer. And we all know hammers really stand for.
Bangability factors: Chris Hemsworth's bulging muscles speak for him. With that smile and those locks, old school chivalrous affect plus godlike stamina, Thor is the ideal bedmate. I'd take this guy to my high school reunion.

#2 Captain America, aka Steve Rogers
Skills: Super strength and speed, wields a shield made of vibranium-steel. Imagine the possibilities...
Bangability factors: Like Thor, Chris Evans's physique is impressive, but his wholesome, boyish virgin factor makes him extra appealing to me somehow. Which disturbs me a little. I just want to make him salute the flag and cry while singing "The Star-Spangled Banner."

#3: Iron Man, aka Tony Stark
Skills: Genius billionaire playboy philanthropist with a flying rocket suit.
Bangability factors: Genius billionaire playboy philanthropist, played by Robert Downey Jr., and he's got a wicked beard and a wickeder sense of humor to boot. Many would argue he ought to be my number two, especially compared to vanilla Steve Rogers, but the fact that Stark's with Pepper Potts and his obsessive compulsive tendencies kind of turn me off.  Great for a one-night stand and a few ostentatious "it's not you, it's me" gifts, but that's just my opinion.

#4: Hawkeye, aka Clint Barton
Skills: Master of archery, martial arts, acrobatics.
Bangability factors: I knew nothing about Jeremy Renner's Hawkeye before this film, save for the minute or two of footage from Thor. But wow, do I ever want to see this guy get his own movie, or costar in one alongside Black Widow. The guys sinewy arms and laserlike focus on the mission shine through. Apply that to the bedroom and I'm sure he'd have me bull's-eyed.

#5: Loki, the Trickster, stepson of Odin
Skills: Super strength, telepathy, magic abilities.
Bangability factors: Okay, so technically he's not an Avenger, but look at him. Tom Hiddleston is irresistibly charismatic in this role. As one character aptly put it, "He kind of grows on you," even though he's really a conflicted and kind of pathetic character. But imagine what he could do with the power to manipulate your mind. You could have him AND all the rest of the Avengers with you...

#6: Black Widow, aka Natasha Romanoff
Skills: Superspy. Particularly good actress.
Bangability factors: She may be the only woman on the team, but she proves herself to be an equal among these powerful men, leveraging her foes' underestimation to her advantage. She's smart and fearless and doesn't back down from a fight. If I had to have a lesbian experimentation phase in my life, I'd be honored and thrilled if it were with Scarlett Johansson's Black Widow.

#7: The Hulk, aka Robert Bruce Banner
Skills: As Banner, genius-level intellect; as Hulk, nearly invulnerable, can take flying leaps, smash.
Bangability factors: Mark Ruffalo's performance was adorable, but he still managed to keep the simmering monster visible beneath his trembling nerdy exterior. Yes, I still put him dead last in this series because, let's face it, while size matters a little, I'm not sure I could go one round with the Hulk without needing serious physical rehabilitation afterwards.

#0: Nick Fury
Skills: He's motherf***ing Samuel L. Jackson. All he needs to do is be badass.
Bangability factors: He's number zero on this list because, chances are, he's already f***ed you and left. Because that's how S.H.I.E.L.D. operates, motherf***er.

It's been way too long since I've reviewed anything, so I'm going to throw a bunch on short summaries on some stuff I've read and watched lately.

Movies

Green Lantern
VV1/2

As much as I love Ryan Reynolds's abs and smile, this movie was terrible. Bad dialogue, shallow characterization...I just didn't know what to make of this film. I'm guessing there's more on the cutting room floor that might make it more palatable, but I can't recommend it...unless you want to have a drinking game where you take a shot every time you see Ryan Reynolds's dimples.

Captain America
VVVV 

On the superhero kick leading up to next year's Avengers, this origin movie featuring Nazis, little guys becoming big guys, and muscles doesn't get much better. Try not to think about the logic or physics, and you're going to have a lot of fun. Great performances by all, and Tommy Lee Jones steals the show.

Horrible Bosses
VV1/2

I barely remember what this movie was about. Revenge on bad bosses, hijinx go wrong...and that's about it. I think I laughed at a couple of places; it was fairly predictable, but a good rental. Or download for a quiet night in.

Books

The Hunger Games trilogy
by Suzanne Collins
VVVV1/2 

Fast-paced action, clean and simple but engrossing writing, terrific characters...I don't know why you haven't yet read these books. The Hunger Games (book 1) remains my favorite of the three, but the series holds up well as a full story. I'm looking forward with cautious optimism to the movie, slated for March 2012.

Tangled Past
by Leah Braemel
VVVV

I read Leah's first in this series, Texas Tangle, and this prequel holds up well. It's a Wild West frontier threesome, with a great story and steamy hot sex. Fun times!