The Muppets
Directed by James Bobin, 2011

Even if your total exposure to the world of the Muppets has been in a few old reruns of The Muppet Show, this movie is fantastic. It's hilarious and heartachingly nostalgic, with exactly the right amount of schlock and zaniness. Jason Segel and the writing team did a bang-on job of recapturing what made the Muppets so special. Plenty of fan nods and celebrity appearances round off this perfect Muppet escapade. It doesn't get better than this.


There Will Be Blood
Directed by Paul Thomas Anderson, 2007

I'm really late to the game with this flick, but I finally watched it on DVD. I really didn't get this movie. Daniel Day-Lewis puts on a terrific performance, there are a few interesting clashes between his character and his devout nemesis Eli--played creepily well by Paul Dano--and the cinematography and scenery is beautiful, but otherwise, I didn't feel like there was much to the story or characterization. I didn't care about Daniel's motives, didn't understand or perceive the changes to his character...didn't really care about anything. I kept waiting for the shoe to drop, and it didn't. There were no real stakes, as far as I could see, and the conflict was minimal. Overall, a bit of a disappointment. Not exactly cheery holiday viewing, either.

Conan the Barbarian
Directed by Marcus Nispel, 2011

Jason Momoa's muscles star in this reboot of the classic Barbarian franchise penned by Robert E. Howard. The writing is...well, I'm not sure there was much writing involved. I could pretty much predict every single line out of Conan's mouth ("I don't want your gold...I want your head!") and though the field was left wide open for jokes, fandom nods and even--gasp!--character development, most of the film is devoted to a crimson-colored splish 'n' splash. There was a lot of fighting, and people in Conan's universe are apparently walking water balloons filled with blood. Blunt force trauma? BLAMO! Blood gush! Sword slice across the shoulder? SPLOOSH! Ruined your new armor! Got a paper cut? SANGUINE TSUNAMI! Rewrite that paper, Billy!

I did rate this above the critically acclaimed There Will Be Blood, however, because JASON MOMOA. ABS. RIPPLING TORSO. THOSE ARMS. THOSE EYEBROWS. With a special appearance by his shapely, muscly butt! (That alone should get people flocking to Netflix...)

Also, I've become a sucker for Stephen Lang, one of the only GPILFS on my list of Older Men I Might Procreate With If The World Ended.


It's been way too long since I've reviewed anything, so I'm going to throw a bunch on short summaries on some stuff I've read and watched lately.


Green Lantern

As much as I love Ryan Reynolds's abs and smile, this movie was terrible. Bad dialogue, shallow characterization...I just didn't know what to make of this film. I'm guessing there's more on the cutting room floor that might make it more palatable, but I can't recommend it...unless you want to have a drinking game where you take a shot every time you see Ryan Reynolds's dimples.

Captain America

On the superhero kick leading up to next year's Avengers, this origin movie featuring Nazis, little guys becoming big guys, and muscles doesn't get much better. Try not to think about the logic or physics, and you're going to have a lot of fun. Great performances by all, and Tommy Lee Jones steals the show.

Horrible Bosses

I barely remember what this movie was about. Revenge on bad bosses, hijinx go wrong...and that's about it. I think I laughed at a couple of places; it was fairly predictable, but a good rental. Or download for a quiet night in.


The Hunger Games trilogy
by Suzanne Collins

Fast-paced action, clean and simple but engrossing writing, terrific characters...I don't know why you haven't yet read these books. The Hunger Games (book 1) remains my favorite of the three, but the series holds up well as a full story. I'm looking forward with cautious optimism to the movie, slated for March 2012.

Tangled Past
by Leah Braemel

I read Leah's first in this series, Texas Tangle, and this prequel holds up well. It's a Wild West frontier threesome, with a great story and steamy hot sex. Fun times!

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2
Directed by David Yates

As I write this review, I know I'll probably get flak for my lack of enthusiasm, my cynicism, my utterly meh opinion of this movie. But before anyone starts throwing cruciatus curses at me, let me start by saying this.

The Harry Potter movies aren't the greatest movies (ducks a fireball), but the stories are good stories and, more importantly, the franchise has raised an entire generation of readers and fans more devoted than any other series of books has ever produced. On this merit alone does the franchise earn at least four stars.

Down to the basics: HP 7.2 takes off where part one left off. There are chase scenes with lots of eye-popping 3-D graphics, epic battle scenes that look like a cross between The Lord of the Rings and Bedknobs and Broomsticks, loveable bumbling heroes, kissing scenes, Christ imagery...everything a good end to an epic should have.

For people who've read the books, boils down the original work as much as possible in order to wrap up all the loose ends in just over 2 hours. For non-HP fans, you'll follow along easily enough, assuming you've suspended disbelief over the past seven movies.

I don't need to say too much more because chances are you'll go see these movies regardless of what critics say. Let me be clear: it wasn't a bad movie. But it wasn't a great movie, either. What it was was the journey's end and we, as fans and viewers, had to see it through to the bittersweet end just as Harry did.

I've said this before: perhaps we've all grown up too much to feel the magic. In HP7.2, we're not given an opportunity to be surprised by this world anymore because, well, it wasn't the world we first walked into. It's terrifying and dreary, a wizarding world we really don't want to be in. The final battle lies ahead: we know we have to face all those characters we know and love, face inevitable losses and death and tragedy.

And yet, the tension of the inevitable face-off between the Boy Who Lived and You-Know-Who was completely missing. By the time Harry makes the decision to face Voldemort, I was pretty much yelling "Get it over with!" Not just because I knew what was going to happen, but also because I was bored by all the sitting and staring and exposition moments. And speaking of boredom, I think Voldemort stopped being scary right around the time we saw him with the evil league of evil having dinner at the Malfoys' dining table. How powerful can You-Know-Who possibly be if all he has are wand-waving goths around him doing his bidding? And how does Ralph Fiennes breathe with his nose smooshed down like that?

There are still great moments, and I admit, I cried a little. Alan Rickman's performance and flashback moments are the most touching in the series. And there is a huge sense of finality and loss in the end. We'll now be relegated to watching Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson and Rupert Grint in other roles now...or else fade into obscurity, tragedy, or worse...

More than a week later, I still can't quite articulate everything about what I did or did not like about this film. Perhaps I am still in shock that there won't be another HP film to look forward to.

Or perhaps I'm simply grateful it is all over, and now we can move on.

It was a tough long weekend for me, so hubby took me out to see two movies I've been aching to watch.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
Directed by Rob Marshall

The latest installment of the POTC series...ah, you know what? I don't really need to talk about it. They're looking for the fountain of youth. There's maps, magic, ships, races, mermaid...all the quest needed was a big rolling rock and a bullwhip. Depp is his usual Jack Sparrow self; Geoffrey Rush is his usual Barbossa self; Penelope Cruz is a pretty throwaway character whose name escapes me; and Ian McShane as the dastardly Blackbeard is, well...appropriately piratical, but he'll never hold a candle to Bill Nighy's Davy Jones.

It's hard to be surprised by anything in this franchise anymore, and I think they exhausted their story arc and character development in the final act of the original trilogy. But regardless of what I say, people are going to flock to see this film, and I won't discourage it. It's fun, action-packed, and utterly mindless. The perfect summer brain sorbet, as long as you don't have high expectations.


Directed by Joe Wright

I only heard about this film through accolades on Twitter, so the film has word of mouth--or Tweet--to thank for me actually going to see this. The innocuous title and poster tell you nothing. In fact, it's a coming-of-age tale in which a teenage girl, raised her whole life in a remote cabin by her father, sets out to get revenge for her slain mother against the woman who killed her.

This could have easily been made into a crass Hollywood big-budget picture, but instead, it was a subtle, well thought out, well-captured look at an extraordinary girl trying to make it through an ordinary world. Saorise Ronan played her role adeptly, walking the fine line between innocent and creepy. Costars including Eric Bana, Cate Blanchett (who I kept thinking was a poor man's Cate Blanchett when in fact it really was her) and the talented Tom Hollander add a wonderful array of challenges for Hanna to overcome.

It's a very different kind of film, but it's smart and uplifting, with enough action and drama to go around. I'd call this the date movie of the summer--a film that everyone can enjoy without mindless eyeball surfing, unnecessary explosions or gratuitous gore.

Directed by Kenneth Branagh

I consider myself a comic book nerd, but admittedly I haven't read any of the comic books featuring heroes from the Avengers team. Iron Man, Captain America, the Incredible Hulk...none of them every really appealed to me the way Marvel's X-Men or DC's Superman, Batman or Wonder Woman did.

Considering that superpowered god-like characters populate much of the DC universe, it's hard to figure out why I had such low interest in the son of Odin. Maybe it was the winged helmet, the girly locks of golden hair, the red cape that made him look fabulous is a way that really wasn't that flattering.

The movie version, however, distills the origin tale down to a palatable hero's journey. Branagh does an excellent job of presenting Thor to the audience in a perfect two-hour package that will lead into the Avengers movie quite smoothly.

Briefly: Thor is the heir to the throne of Asgard, another world ruled by viking-type people with crazy magic and science. His father, Odin, played by the venerable Anthony Hopkins, deems him unworthy and casts him out to exile on Earth. There, he meets scientist Jane, played by a charming-as-ever Natalie Portman, whose research into the phenomena that brought Thor to Earth has been confiscated by S.H.I.E.L.D. agents.

Some stuff happens, and there's lots of big fist fights, explosions, shiny teleportation, etc. It's not particularly complex, and you can pretty much tell who the bad guy is within the first five minutes. Like most superhero movies now, you can count on lots of action and a little melodrama. Actually, in Thor's case, there was lots of it, including the fall-to-your-knees, roar-at-the-sky bit that's a prerequisite of all dramatic comic book moments.

But that's half the beauty of this film. Chris Hemsworth does an excellent job of not taking himself too seriously in this role as the really unbelievable God of Thunder. I mean, seriously. He's a really, really, REALLY hot guy who swings a hammer and uses it to fly. Any minute now, you think he's going to turn to the camera and wink. If Branagh had tried to do this any other way, the movie would have been dull and stilted.

Overall, Thor was fun and worth the two hours it took. It will be interesting to see Hemsworth on screen with his fellow Avengers, and the franchise is sure to take off with all the effort they've put into the characters. If, of course, you don't like superhero movies... well, then, there's only one real reason to go see this film:




Rango (animated film)
Directed by Gore Verbinski

Apparently, Westerns are becoming a thing for me.

Verbinski's animated feature Rango is fresh, fun and quirky. While a little drawn-out as many of Verbinski's works have been (see the first Pirates of the Caribbean), the film remains engaging enough to sustain an audience accustomed to slick, eye-popping computer animated films.

Johnny Depp voices a lonely, directionless, sheltered chameleon who by twists of fate is caught in a Wild West-style desert town populated by other talking animals. He takes on the name Rango and becomes town sheriff, trying to discover the mystery of the town's disappearing water supply.

What makes Rango interesting is that there are real moments of humanity displayed by each of the town's beastly CGI inhabitants. I will tip my hat to Verbinski for his method: instead of isolating the voice actors in sound studios, he had them all act out their roles as an ensemble line so that the artists would have character references and real human guides for actions and emotions. You can watch a demo on IMDB.

While the story is simple enough, and has a few similarities to the tale from Flushed Away, the character and set design is phenomenal, with a real worn-out, dried up feel to everything. The comedy is almost too subtle for a younger audience, but given the right mood, will probably make you laugh out loud. The action sequences leave you breathless--there were some especially good effects I could have sworn had been filmed live. Johnny Depp is as much a chameleon in this voice acting role as he is in all his films. You'd never know it was him if it hadn't been plastered all over the place.

The one drawback to this film is in Verbinski's meandering and sometimes unnecessary dialogue. He's got some great one liners ("That, sir, is what we call a mammogram!") and asides, but it detracts from the ongoing story, weighs down the action and makes severely emotional moments too unwieldy.

Even so, this was an enjoyable flick for adults and children, though you may want to leave the really young ones at home--a lot of them got restless fast on Friday night.

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True Grit
Directed by Joel & Ethan Coen

I've never really thought about whether I actually enjoy Westerns or not. Something about the Wild West has always struck me as one big cliche.

But the Coen Brothers' remake of True Grit, starring Jeff Bridges and Matt Damon, ascends cliche and satire somehow, driving this otherwise unremarkable tale with characters that make us both laugh and cry, even as they seem to be half a second away from looking into the camera and winking.

The story's quite simple: Determined fourteen-year-old Mattie Ross (played by newcomer Hailee Steinfeld) hires U.S. Marshal Rooster Cogburn (Bridges) to hunt down the man who murdered her father. Also in pursuit of the fugitive is Texas Ranger LaBoeuf (Damon). Misadventure, hilarity, and heart-wrenching drama ensue.

The Coen brothers do a phenomenal job of telling this story with their own quirky sense of humor. Why Hailee Steinfeld isn't on the marquis I do not understand, since the entire story is from her point of view and she does a bang-up job in the role. In fact, I'd almost say this was better as a young adult tale, full of adventure, personal growth and consequences.

Whether this film will garner any Oscars is up in the air; as a remake of an old John Wayne movie which was based on book, it's kind of hard to accept that the work is groundbreaking or fresh. But it was good. And it was totally worth watching.

Black Swan
Directed by Darren Aronofsky

It's not hard to see why Black Swan will be nominated for an Oscar in Best Picture and Best Lead Actress for Natalie Portman. Obsession, alienation, and the slow spiral into madness are all hallmarks of previous Oscar noms. It doesn't hurt that there's a lesbian sex scene involving Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman, either.

Briefly: Portman plays ballerina Nina Sayers, who is given the demanding role of the Swan Queen in a production of Swan Lake. The nearly virginal Nina struggles to embrace the dark side of her dual role of the black swan. She enters into a twisted relationship with Lily (Mila Kunis), a talented new ballerina who threatens to replace her in her highly coveted role. A demanding and deviant director and her overbearing former ballerina mother add to the pressures she places on herself to achieve perfection, and as opening night draws near, Nina slowly starts to lose her grasp of reality.

The direction and cinematography in this film was superb. From the cloying head shots to the jarring and sometimes nausea-inducing unsteady cam, this movie captured the ballerina's world view splendidly. The viewers were trapped in long shots of Portman's head, even as she performed, bringing the focus on her internal struggle rather than on the technical aspects of ballet.

Portman's performance is brilliant, her normally vibrant, strong-willed persona stashed away very effectively in her role as a woman-child buried by her own inhibitions and skewed ambition. She totally made me forget she was in those films we shall not speak of.

By the end of the second act, things start getting really trippy. I don't generally enjoy watching what I call "oogy movies"--you know, where you start to see things and wonder if YOU'RE the one who's going mad--and this was a real gut-twister of a head trip, but I still walked out of the film saying, "Yeah, even though I feel like I'm going to be sick, I enjoyed that."

I'm still feeling a little ill. In a good, I'm-going-to-have-nightmares-all-week kind of way, of course. But isn't that the stuff of Oscars?

The Fighter (film)
Directed by: David O. Russell

Based on a true story about a small-town fighter whose career is both stunted and driven by his dysfunctional family, the movie is gritty and poignant, driven mainly by Christian Bale's stunning performance as crack addict has-been fighter Dicky Eklund.

Eklund is the loving older brother to Mark Wahlberg's Micky Ward, a guy who has a real shot at the big leagues, but is held back by the demands, expectations and addictions of his trainer brother and manager mother. After a brutal match, Micky has to make a choice about how the rest of his career should be played out while dealing with the tentative and toxic bonds that bind him to his family.

I really enjoyed this film. Performances by Bale and Melissa Leo (Ward's mother) were stunning. Wahlberg plays the hesitant and humble hero very well, but it wasn't a stretch for him. The middle-American working-class small town may be painted with a jaundiced eye toward the less affluent denizens, but amidst addiction and despair, there appears to be real love and hope--especially among the colorfully wretched Eklund/Ward cabal.

There's no doubt in my mind this will pick up a few Oscar nods. Bale alone should pull a few votes his way. Go see it.


The King's Speech (film)
Directed by Tom Hooper

I really shouldn't have been all that surprised that this movie was as good as it was. It has everything you need to earn an Oscar nomination: Colin Firth, British royalty, Nazis, Helena Bonham-Carter, small children, Geoffrey Rush, and a glimpse of blimps.

Colin (Darcy) Firth plays stuttering Duke Albert, the future King George VI, who struggles to overcome his speech impediment with the help of an Aussie speech therapist (Rush) with unconventional methods. It's a classic odd couple/buddy story with lots of propriety and accents thrown in together with royal court scandal.

Firth, as usual, does a splendid job, managing to come off still sounding as eloquent as ever, even through his stuttering. And Rush is delightfully fun.

It's not playing in a lot of theaters, but if you get a chance to see it, go. The day I went at the Varsity's big theater, the hall was packed half an hour before the show started. Andpeople were lined up around the corner to get in.